ALLIGATOR IN A BAR!
A guy walks into a bar with a pet
alligator by his side. He puts the
alligator up on the bar. He turns
to the astonished patrons. "I'll
make you a deal. I'll open this
alligator's mouth and place my
genitals inside. Then the gator will
close his mouth for one minute.
He'll then open his mouth and I'll
remove my unit unscratched. In
return for witnessing this spectacle,
each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped
his pants, and placed his privates
in the alligator's open mouth. The
gator closed his mouth as the
crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a
beer bottle and rapped the alligator
hard on the top of it's head. The
crowd cheered and the first of his
free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made
another offer. "I'll pay anyone
who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up in
the back of the bar. A blonde woman
timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise
not to hit me on the head with the
beer bottle".
Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the
teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of
nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal
in the world does this.
Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he
says.
"Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat
on the verandah. The neighbours' Great Dane came
around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff!
ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say
"**** OFF!", the dog ate him!"
A woman went in for a physical the other day. The doctor asked her to disrobe. When she did the doctor
noticed she had a big red "H" on her chest. The doctor said; that's strange. How did you get the red "H"
on your chest? The woman replied: "My husband went to Harvard and beloved the school so much he never
takes his block sweater off...even when we make love." Several days later; another woman came into the
doctor's office for a physical. The doctor went through the same routine. After she disrobed, the doctor
noticed she had a big "M" on her chest. Not wanting to appear stupid, the doctor said: "Your boyfriend
must have gone to Michigan." The woman responded" "I don't know what you are talking about, but my
girlfriend went to Wisconsin."
