[bonyhadi]

Losing Your Load

A trucker stops for red light and a blonde girl catches up. She knocks
on the door and the trucker lowers the window. The girl says "Hi, my
name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. The trucker stops
for another red light and the girl again catches up. She knocks on the
door and the trucker lowers the window and she says "Hi my name is
Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

He ignores her again and continues down the street. The trucker stops
for still another red light and the girl catches up again all out of
breath. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. Again
she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

He dismisses her and starts off down the street, then stops. The
trucker gets out of the truck, approaches the blonde girl and says:

"Hi, my name is Kevin and I am driving a SALT TRUCK!"


























A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about
10 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his
tractor, and his dog old Joe trots along beside him.
Halfway through the plowing, the tractor runs out of
fuel. He wanders out to the road and flags down a ride,
which just happens to be a Ferrari. The driver says,
"You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car."
The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up."
The driver figures he'll show the farmer just what his
car can do and lets it rip.
Just as he is going into 5th gear, he looks out the
window and sure enough Old Joe is right beside him.
He can't wait to have a look at the amazing dog, so he
slams on the brakes, and the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible
dog I've ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's
wearing?"
The farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar,
that's his asshole... he's not used to stopping that fast."




























Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a
long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts,
but he knew the penalty for this would death. One day he revealed his secret
desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief
doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the
Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to
arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to have
Horatio the Physician arrange it and he would gladly pay the 1,000 gold coins
for the chance to satisfy his desires for the Queen. The next day, Horatio
the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the
Queen's massive brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she
dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the
Royal chambers to address the incident, Horatio the Physician informed the
King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would
cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick
the Dragon Slayer had present the antidote to cure the itch. King Arthur
quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio, the Physician then slipped
Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly
put it into his mouth, and for the next four hours, worked passionately on
the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was
eventually relieved and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the
Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now
satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer could have cared less, and knowing that
Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him
away with no payment made. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a
massive dose of the same itching powder into King Arthur's loincloth. King
Arthur quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.
























While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his
luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his
surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if
he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon
as they get back to her place, they dive onto the bed and spend the night
hard at it.

Finally, the spent young bloke rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his
jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if
she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she
replies.

Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting
neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the bloke
begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, wrong again," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke.

Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and
replies, "That's me before the operation."