[bonyhadi]

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and
appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem
like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance
rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and
try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give
up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court and the judge said to the
first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs
forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles, one big and
one small, and told them the big circle is your brain before
drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs
forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small
circle and told them, "this is your asshole before prison......"








Shortly before he was married, someone asked Abraham Lincoln
about his fiancee's family name.

"The Todds are very important people," Lincoln replied. "They
require two d's at the end of their name. The Almighty is
content with one."



"I know my sexuality, but I get so confused by other people's.
I don't even know the difference between transvestites and
transsexuals. As I understand it, transvestites are the ones
that grow down from the ceiling and transsexuals are the ones
that grow up."
---Pamela Yager

"Sex after children slows down. Every three months now we have
sex. Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my quarterly taxes.
Unless it's oral sex--then I renew my driver's license."
---Ray Romano