PERSONAL ADS DECODER
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.............. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............ Watches a lot of NASCAR
Good looking........ Arrogant
Very good looking... Dumb as a board
Honest.............. Pathological Liar
Likes to cuddle..... Insecure Mama's boy
Mature.............. Older than your father
Physically fit...... Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Very sensitive...... Gay
Thoughtful.......... Says "Excuse me" when he farts
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish.............. 49
Adventurer.......... Slept with all your friends
Athletic............ No chest
Average looking..... Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful........... Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure.. Medicated
Fun................. Annoying
Gentle.............. Comatose
Outgoing............ Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.......... Sloppy drunk
Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0
CD backwards you can hear all kinds of evil and satanic
messages!"
Guy #2: "That's nothing--if you play it forwards, it installs
AOL."
"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"
---Homer Simpson
