[bonyhadi]

Question: How to define globalization

Answer: Princess Diana's death


Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian
boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch
engine, driven by a
Belgian who was bombed on Scottish whiskey,
followed closely by an
Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles,
treated by an American
doctor, using Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by an Israeli, using Bill
Gates' technology
which He stole from the Taiwanese.














Slogans

Miss Figpot was giving a lecture on company
slogans, advertising and marketing in her fifth
grade class.

"Joey," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'Come fly the friendly skies'?"

"United." Joey answered.

"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the
slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"

Brenda answered the correct credit card company
with no difficulty.

"Now Johnny, Tell me which company uses the
slogan, 'Just do it'?"

Little Johnny answered, "Mom."










>
>There was this construction worker on
>the 3rd floor of this unfinished building.
>He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy
>to go down and get it himself, so he
>tried to call his fellow worker on the
>ground to get it for him, but this guy
>could not hear a word he said. So he
>started to give a sign so the guy on
>the ground could understand him.
>
>So first he pointed at his eyes
>(meaning "I") then pointed at his
>knees (meaning "need",) and moved
>his hand back and forth describing
>the movement of a hand saw.
>
>Finally the guy on the ground started
>nodding his head like he understood
>and dropped his pants and started to
>jack off.
>
>The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed
>and ran down to the ground and started
>yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was
>trying to say, I need a hand saw". The
>other guy replied: "I know, I was trying
>to tell you that "I am coming...".
>











>You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
>
>You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
>
>Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
>
>Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>
>The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
>
>Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare
>a loved one.
>
>You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
>
>You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>
>You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>
>You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
>
>Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
>
>Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
>
>You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
>
>You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
>
>You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
>
>You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>
>Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
>
>You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
>
>You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
>
>You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
>
>You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>
>You have a rag for a gas cap.
>
>Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
>
>Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
>
>You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean .
>
>You can spit without opening your mouth.
>
>You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
>
>Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>
>You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
>
>You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the
>side.
>
>You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
>
>A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.
>
>You've used a toilet brush as a back scratchier.
>
>You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
>
>You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
>
>Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you takethem
>out to see what it is.












> > Two cowboys are out on the range, talking about their favorite sex
> > > positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I
> >don't
> > > think I have ever heard of thatone," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
> > > "Well," the first cowboy replied, "it's where you get your girl friend
> >down
> > > on all fours and you mount her from behind, and then you reach around and
> > > cup each one of her breasts in your hands, and then you whisper in her
> >ear,
> > > 'Boy, these feel just like your sisters' '...and then you try to hold on
> >for
> > > 8 seconds!"














SEX IS A TEMPTATION
CAUSED BY A SENSATION
WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION
IN A WOMANS VENTILATION
DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION?
OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION?



SKY IS BLUE
WATER IS WET
I'LL MAKE YOU COME
I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT
PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY
MOVIN UP AND DOWN
SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY
WE WILL MOVE THE GROUND




SEX IS EVIL
SEX IS A GAME
ONE NIGHT OF PASSION
NINE MONTHS OF PAIN
BABYS A BASTARD
FATHERS A GIT
ALL BECAUSE
THE ****ING CONDOM SPLIT!




SEX IS LIKE MATH
YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES
ADD THE BED
DIVIDE THE LEGS
THEN MULTIPLY!!!!!!!




ROSES ARE RED
GRASS IS GREEN
OPEN YOUR LEGS
AND I'LL FILL YOU WITH CREAM



HICKERY DICERY DOCK
DIS ***** WAS SUCKING ME COCK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
ME DUMPED ME GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT
DA END OF THE BLOCK




SEX IS GOOD
SEX IS FINE
DOGGY STYLE
OR 69
JUST FOR FUN
OR GETTING PAID
EVERYONE LIKES
GETTING LAYED















There are several men sitting around in the locker
>>>room of a golf club after a round, showering and
>>>getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly, a cell
>>>phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men
>>>picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
>>>(H - Husband, W - Wife)
>>>
>>>H - "Hello?"
>>>
>>>W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
>>>
>>>H - "Yes."
>>>
>>>W - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where
>>>you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's
>>>absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
>>>
>>>H - "What's the price?"
>>>
>>>W - "Only $1,000."
>>>
>>>H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
>>>
>>>W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership
>>>and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked.
>>>I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since
>>>we need to exchange the BMW that we
>>>bought last year..."
>>>
>>>H - "What price did he quote you?"
>>>
>>>W - "Only $60,000..."
>>>
>>>H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
>>>
>>>W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."
>>>
>>>H - "What?"
>>>
>>>W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your
>>>bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this
>>>morning and saw the house we had looked at last year.
>>>It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool,
>>>English Garden, acre of park area, beach front property."
>>>
>>>H - "How much are they asking?"
>>>
>>>W - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price...and I see
>>>that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
>>>
>>>H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
>>>
>>>W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!!
>>>I love you!!!"
>>>
>>>H - "Bye...I love you too..."
>>>
>>>The man hangs. The other men are staring at him with astonishment and
>>>envy. The husband raises his hand
>>>while holding the phone and asks, "Does anyone
>>>know who this phone belongs to?











Baby Sister

I've got a baby sister
As cute as she can be,
Except she's only got one eye,
And that one eye can't see.

Her nose has got no nostrils,
She looks like a giraffe,
And when she tries to kick her stumps
She always makes me laugh.

Last week they took her far away-
I always knew they would,
And Mommy still is on the pill
That keeps her feeling good.