[Lumberman]

New Pledge
I Pledge (if I am emotionally so inclined, but otherwise make no commitment whatsoever) Allegiance (or if not, at least a passing interest in) to the Cloth Symbol (known by most but not necessarily myself as "The Flag") of the loosely associated group of governmental regulatory bodies known as The United States of America (which may also be referred to as a group of ethnically diversified persons living in the same place at the same time) and to the Republic (please refer to the aforementioned disclaimer regarding the USA) for which it stands, one nation (please refer to the aforementioned disclaimer regarding the USA), under (or maybe even over) an unspecified deity (or not if you so choose so as not to possibly offend any member of the ethnically diversified group herein assembled to recite or not to recite this statement of allegiance or interest depending on the mood of the moment) indivisible (or invisible or visible or whatever) with Liberty (because you have to have liberty even if there is no commitment or responsibility whatsoever) and Justice (whatever you may define that to be) for All (and by "all" we may mean just one lousy individual who wants to, with the help of his A.C.L.U. court appointed attorney, ruin everything for everybody else).