[bonyhadi]

. Proper Care
-----------------------------------
A young bride and groom to be had just selected the wedding
ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond
band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked
the elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have
to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the
salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding
ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."



"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk
comes out of my nose."
- Woody Allen


Orders?
----------------------------------
Doctor: I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't
you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention?
What's your excuse?

Patient: I was just following your orders, Doc.

Doctor: Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you
no such order.

Patient: You told me to avoid people who irritate me.









The Law
---------------------------------
Aubrey Meek was brought before the court on the charge of refusing to
obey a police officer. "Why did you refuse to move on when asked to do
so by the officer?" the judge inquired, obviously wondering what
unexplained force could have given such a man strength to buck a strong
minion of the law.

"It's like this, your honor," explained Meek. "My wife said I was to
meet her at exactly twelve noon at that spot - and I was forced to
choose between man's law and wife's law."








I'm in personnel with the government in Washington, D.C., reviewing
applications for federal employment. The standard form includes the
question, "Why did you leave your previous employment?" One applicant,
a former U.S. Cngressman, responded, "The express wish of 116,000
voters."--Readers Digest