[bonyhadi]

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TEST RESULTS

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office
to collect his wife's test results.
The lab tech says, "I'm sorry, sir,
but there has been a bit of a mix-up
and we have a problem. When we sent
the samples from your wife to the lab,
the samples from another Mrs. Smith
were sent as well, and we are now
uncertain which one is your wife's.
Frankly, the news is either bad or
terrible."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested
positive for Alzheimer's disease and
the other for AIDS. We can't tell
which is your wife."
"That's terrible! Can we do the
test over?"
"Normally, yes. But you have an HMO,
and they won't pay for these expensive
tests more than once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The HMO recommends that you drop your
wife off in the middle of town--if she
finds her way home, don't **** her."
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BET YOUR SEX LIFE

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes.

The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of
your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be
meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says,
"Okay," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an
eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another
fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure."

He makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.

Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would
you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and
says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't
know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex
life."

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."