Translating Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = you'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my arse fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = you'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I hate my thighs
You're so.. Manly = you need a shave and you sweat a
lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something
expensive
It's your decision = the correct decision should be
obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you
ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and
find a good Game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that
you're really notgoing to like
TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the
question
I love you too = OK, I said it, can we have sex now?
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you
to have sex with other men
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to
have sex with you in the next 10 minutes
Let's talk = I'm trying to impress you by showing that
I am deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
