10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations:
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Don't u know, I
sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local
anesthetic.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people? Answer:- Why? Would it rather
have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is the Seafood Dish good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of
adulterated cement. We
occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years... Stupid Question:- Oh my gosh ...you have grown so
much! Answer:- Well you haven't
particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No, he's a
miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing
research on whether the Zulu tribes
in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb little moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its
autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer:- No it wont.
It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke. Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle.... it
was a piece of chalk and now it's
in flames!!!
AKEN FOR A RIDE
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John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.
As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John
checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that
was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there! So he slammed on
the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the
wallet immediately!"
The frightened hitchhiker handed over a billfold, and John drove
off. When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the
experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget,
John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"
Rejecting A Rejection Letter
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Next time your application for a job is rejected...
Dear [Interviewer's Name]:
Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview]. After careful
consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have had
been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of
rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates
it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite [Firm's Name]'s outstanding qualifications and previous
experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not
meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment
with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to
seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Travel Tips
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Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler:
* Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise
includes the phrase "Free Ammo"
* Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate
motto is Die American Pig.
* There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if
you have experience in jungle warfare.
* If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blankethead.
* On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an
interpreter.
* While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as "Petey-Boy."
* Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.
* Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two.
* In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase
of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.
* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.
"I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller."
"I thought they just hired a new teller last week."
"Right. That's the one they're looking for."
