[bonyhadi]

Acting grown up

Three 7 year old girls were walking down the street
wearing their mothers' clothing; large hats, high
heels, and long dresses. They passed a bar and one
of the girls said, "Let's go in for a drink. "

They went in and crawled up to to the bar stools.
The bartender laughed and thought he would have some
fun. He went to the first little girl and said, "What
will you have young lady?"

The girl replied, "I'll Have a Martini."

The bartender could not give them any liquor so he
filled up a martini glass with 7-UP, placed an olive
in it and put it in front of her.

He said to the second girl, "What will you have today?"

She replied, "A Manhattan."

The bartender then filled a Manhattan glass with
Ginger-Ale, put in a cherry in it, and set it in
front of her.

Next he asked the third little girl, "What will you
have today?"

After a long pause she replied, "I'll have a douche.
Mother says they're so refreshing."










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---------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
------------------------------
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------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
-------------------------------------
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-----------------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
-------------------------------
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
------------------------------
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
------------------------------
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-----------------------------------
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-----------------------------------
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-------------------------------------
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--------------------------------------
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--------------------------------------
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----------------------------------------
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
-----------------------------------------
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-----------------------------------------
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-------------------------------------------
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---------------------------------------------
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-----------------------------------------------
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---------------------------------------------
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--------------------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE &; DONUTS
---------------------------------------
FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
















Cowboy Wisdom...

1.Never smack a man who's chewing tobacco.

2.Neve ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

3.If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.

4.If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

5.Always drink upstream from the herd.

6.Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

7.If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

8.When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter, don't be surprised if it learns its lesson.

9.There are two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

10.Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it in.













What would you do ???

An old man and a young woman are stuck in an
elevator and the building is on fire.

The young woman asks: "Sir I am interested
what would you do if you thought you only
had twenty minutes to live?"

"Well, I think I would screw anything that
moved. Why what would you do?"

"Well, under the circumstances, I think I
would remain perfectly still."
















"Yesterday is a cancelled check.
Tomorrow is a promisary note.
Today is cash....spend it wisely."

-=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=-

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake
up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the
phone did not ring until well after 6:30.

"Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is
your wake-up call."

Annoyed, I let the clod have it. "Listen buddy, you
were supposed to call me at 6 a.m. sharp! What if I
had a big multimillion-dollar deal to close this morning,
and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Oh get over it, dude!" the desk clerk quickly replied,
"If you had a big multimillion-dollar deal to close, you
sure wouldn't be staying in this fleabag motel!"

-=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- -=*=-

A dog's life...

A nursery school teacher was taking a minivan
full of kids home one day when a fire truck
roared past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a
Dalmatian. The children began discussing the
dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."