[bonyhadi]

The victim of an awful automobile accident was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital,
and the emergency nurse was ordered to prepare the body for the undertaker. Removing
his clothes, she discovered that the young man had died with the most massive ERECTION
she had ever seen. Unable to take her eyes off it,
she finally yielded to temptation, took off her panties, straddled the stiff and proceeded
to enjoy herself.

She was just getting down from the table when a second nurse came in and saw her and
promptly reprimanded her for her obscene behavior.
"What's the harm?" shot back the first nurse. "I enjoyed it, and HE surely didn't mind it.
Besides, he can't complain and I can't get pregnant. Why don't YOU give it a try too?"
"Oh, I can't possibly," said the second nurse, blushing. "First, he's
dead and second, I've got my period. Anyway, listen, the doctor wants you." And so the
first nurse left. The second nurse got to work, but soon found herself terribly excited by
this massive hard-on and finally climbed on top of it. Just as she was starting to cum, she
was astonished to feel the man climax too! Looking down and seeing his eyelids starting to
flutter, she exclaimed in shock, "I thought you were dead!"
"Lady, I thought I was too," said the man, "until you gave me that blood transfusion."
================================================== ===========
How do deaf gynecologists work?
They read lips.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Rednecks went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex
when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the attendant.
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said.
"If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the rednecks, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a
number.
"Two!" said the redneck.
"Sorry, it's three," said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked back to their car one redneck said to the other, "I
think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife won twice last week.
================================================== ====
A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man
notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up
you look so excited."
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am
marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on
her face.
The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be
getting married, but what's up, you look so excited."
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blonde Moments!

Did you hear about the blonde who:

1)had more on her body than on her mind?
2)was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?
3)took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
4)got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
5)was an M.D.: Mentally Deficient?
6)had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?
7)thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
8)was told she was a silly puss, but insisted that she didn't have a
crazy cat?
9)after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
10)went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
11)brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
12)thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
13)thought that a sanitary belt was a shot from a clean whiskey glass?
14)thought that intercourse was a state highway?
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CONFUCIUS SAY:

"Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next
spring."

"Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter."

"Sex on beach is like American beer - very near water."

"Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock."

"Man who buy drowned cat, must pay for stinking wet *****."

"Girl who is wallflower at party, may be dandelion in bed."

"Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants!"

"Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman complained to her Doctor that her husband never wanted sex anymore. He gave
her a bottle of Viagra pills, telling her to put
them in her husband's drink and her husband would be recharged.
The woman was filled with doubt, but she put one pill in his coffee
that evening. That night they made love. The next night she put two viagra's in his coffee
and that night the sex was ecstatic. The next night she said "What the hell!" and dumped
the whole bottle in his coffee.
Sometime later the Doctor called to check on his patient's progress. The woman's son
answered the phone. When the Doctor asked how everyone was doing, the boy replied,
"Mom's dead, Sis left home, the maid's pregnant, my ass hurts, and Dad is buck naked in
the yard yelling, "Here, kitty, kitty."
================================================== ==

How Different Personalities Cope in the Men's Room


Excitable-Shorts half twisted around and ripped; obviously can't find the hole
Sociable-Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not Cross-eyed-Looks into next
urinal to see how the other guy is fixed
Timid-Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later
Indifferent-If all urinals are being used, pisses in sink
Clever-No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor Worried-Not sure of
where he has been lately, makes quick inspection
Frivolous-Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit other urinals
Absent Minded-Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants Chlidish-Pisses directly in
bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble
Tough-Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it
Patient-Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry, reads with other
hand
Efficient-Waits until he has to crap, then does both
Drunk-Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants Disgruntled-Stands for a while,
gives up, walks away Conceited-Holds two inch dick like a baseball bat
Desperate-Waits in long line with teeth floating; ultimately pisses in pants
Sneak-Farts silently while pissing; acts very innocent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Study
In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the Head of a Penis
was bigger than the rest of it.
After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was
larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own. After
$250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give
the woman more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks
and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from
flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
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