[bonyhadi]

An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps
hitting on this woman who is
waiting for her date. The drunk
just won't take no for an answer.

"Tell you what, I'll sleep with
you if you can name one thing a
man can do for me that my vibrator
can't!" the woman smirks.

The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment.
"Okay, let's see your vibrator buy
the next round of drinks!"





Rejected Motel 6 Slogans .......

Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.

As seen on COPS.

If we'd known you were staying all night, we'd have changed the sheets.

Not just for one nighters anymore.

We left off the 9, but you know it's there.

You rented the room, now buy the video.

We'll leave the Lysol out for ya.

Official lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins.

We put the Ho in Hotel.







"Hey, Joe," I called out, "come here, I have a true story for
you. I was on my way home sitting at a stop light, and next to
me was a guy and a girl on a Harley. She was wearing a tank-top
and shorts from under which lacey lingerie was peeking. He was
wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Her outfit was strange, but there
was nothing I hadn't seen before. What was really weird,
however, was what she was doing with her middle fingers. She
had them under his shirt and was rubbing his nipples."

"What?" he was incredulous.

Yeah, and she would periodically pull out her hands, lick the
tips of her fingers then shove them back in there and go back
to nipple rubbing. It was freaky. I didn't know whether to
throw up or laugh. They had no shame... Just sitting in rush
hour traffic doing the nipple rubbing thing."

Joe was silent for a moment. "What was he doing while she did
that?"

"Smiling."

Disrespectfully,







A lady who had been married for several years was growing
more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest
in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to
their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase
some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop.

One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and
he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower,
freshened up, and donned he crotchless undies and a slinky
negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the
television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair
arm.

"Want some of this?" she purred.

"Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your
underwear."









I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was,
'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three
years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.



My kids love surfing the Web, and they keep track of their
passwords by writing them on sticky notes.

One day I noticed their password was "BatmanSupermanRobinJoker".
And so I asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least
four characters."




A tourist driving through Arkansas passes a young boy
walking along wearing only one shoe.

The tourist stops his car and asks the boy, "Hey sonny,
did you lose a shoe?"

"Nope," the boy replies. "Found one."