[bonyhadi]

Four old duffers are pounding their balls around the links
when a sudden thunderstorm pops up. >>ZAP<< A bolt of
lightning kills all four in one stroke. Soon, they find
themselves at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter is all upset, papers flying in the air, "You guys
aren't supposed to be here yet. It's not your time! I'll
tell ya what...I can put you all back on Earth to finish out
your days, but you have to decide how. That is, everyone
down there already knows you're all dead, so I can't send
you back as who you were. Figure it out amongst yourselves
and I'll check back with you later."

Some time goes by and St. Peter returns, "Well, have you
decided how you want to go back?"

One of the golfers steps forward, "St. Peter, we've decided
that we all want to go back to earth as lesbians."

"LESBIANS!" St. Peter shouts, "why lesbians?"

"Well, sir, we all love to eat ***** and we wanna hit from
the red tees."











There was once was this guy who developed a bad case of flatulence. The
smell was quite embarrassing, but what was worse was the sound which was a
loud "HONDA!" He went to a number of doctor (of course) and none of them
could help him (as is always the case in these tales). Finally out of
desperation he went to an old Chinese doctor and explained his problem.

Without any examination the doctor said, "You have an abscessed tooth, have
it fixed and your problem will be solved." So he went to a dentist, and
sure, enough he did have an abscessed tooth, which he had repaired, and his
"HONDA" farts went away as well. So he went back to the Chinese doctor and
said, "What's the punch line?" -- or was it, "How did you know that I had an
abscessed tooth?"

"Because", said the Chinese doctor, "everybody know that ...

... abcess make the fart go HONDA!"