[bonyhadi]

Das Leben ist zu kurz um schlecten Wein zu
trinken

During the National Spelling Bee recently in the
nation's capital,
Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering
that the USA was embedded in the middle of
Jerusalem, Israel's holiest city. The
revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader
at the Joseph Lieberman Day School in Rockville
Center, Md. When young Levin was asked to spell the
word Jerusalem, he replied, "J E R- USA - L E M."
An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who
realized, for the first time, a USA presence in the holy
city. Muslim parents
immediately protested the spelling contest, citing
American bias toward Israel.
"It's a clear violation of church and state," said
Mohammed Ahlee,
lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite. Bee officials
quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that the
Muslims were merely disgruntled because Rajeed
Raheed, a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High,
had been eliminated earlier for misspelling Afghanistan
as Afghanustan.
"There is no 'A-N-U-S' in the middle of Afghanistan,"
said one bee official, "unless you believe bin Laden is
still hiding there."
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The sales girl at the Pink *****cat boutique didn't bat an eye when the customer purchased an artificial vagina.
"What are you going to use it for?" she asked.
"None of your business," answered the customer, beet red and thoroughly offended.
"Calm down, buddy," soothed the salesgirl."
The only reason I'm asking is that if it's food, we don't have to charge you sales tax."
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Brain Teasers:

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with
loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5
minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out
together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of
this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and
still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you
throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out
what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was
wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though.
Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But
if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the
barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English
language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.


Click here: Emode.com - The Ultimate IQ Test - page 1
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What Gender Are They

ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide
variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light
a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL - female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it
gives men pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always
know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
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