[bonyhadi]

Austin Powers pick up lines from "Gold Member"


1) I wish you were a door so I could bang you
all day long.

2) (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's
get you out of those wet clothes.

3) Nice legs... What time do they open?

4) Do you work for the post office? I thought
I saw you checking out my package.

5) You've got 206 bones in your body, want one
more?

6) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the
money?

7) I may not be the best looking guy in here,
but I'm the only one talking to you.

8) I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big
Breasted Bed thrasher, have you seen one?

9) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.

10) Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can
blow the hell outta me.

11) I'd really like to see how you look when I'm
naked.

12) You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away.

13) You must be the limp doctor because I've got
a stiffy.

14) I'd walk a million miles for one of your
smiles, and even farther for that thing you
do with your tongue.

15) If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning.

16) (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not
just going to suck itself.

17) You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with
me.

18) You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any
questions?

19) Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.

20) My name is ( )...remember that, you'll be
screaming it later.

21) Do you believe in love at first sight or
should I walk by again?

22) Hi, the voices in my head told me to come
over and talk to you.

23) I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how
much have you been drinking?

24) Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

25) Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I
can see myself in them













TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You sell one and buy a bull.
* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
* You sell them and retire on the income.
AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You Sell one
cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
* You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
* You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month,
and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* Both are mad.

CANADIAN CAPITALISM
* You have two cows.
* Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact, yes
they are.
* One speaks French, one speaks English.
* One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it.
* They both play ice hockey rather well.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
* You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You count them and learn you have five cows.
* You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
* You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
* You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM:
* You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
* You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* You have 300 people milking them.
* You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and
detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM:
* You have two cows.
* That one on the left is kinda cute