Not Ranked
=== Feel Like A Woman ===
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger
jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going
to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there
someone on this plane who is man enough to make me
feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here,
iron this!".
=== The Fireman And His Wife ===
A Fireman came home from work one day and told
his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system
at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets.
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1,
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2,
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3,
we are going to make love all night."
The next night he came home from work and yelled
"BELL 1"
The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2,"
The wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3,"
They began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE
NEAR THE FIRE!"
=== Wishful Thinking ===
One morning a woman was walking out of her front
door, when she notices a strange little man at the
bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you
owe me three wishes!".
So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and
square, what's your first wish?".
The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a
huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK,
you've got it.".
Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a
Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too."
"My last wish is a million dollars!".
The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to
make your wishes come true you have to have sex
all night with me."
"OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm
27", she replies
"**** me", says the man, "27 and you still
believe in goblins"
Education: What you have left over when you subtract what
you've forgotten from what you've learned.
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