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Old 08-04-2002, 01:52 PM
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bonyhadi bonyhadi is offline
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Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
==========
Customer: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff. I just
want a database!"
==========
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
==========
Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
==========
Customer: "I don't have a space bar.
==========
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently
need to print a document, but the computer
won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about error, non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel inside."
==========
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem.
We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
==========
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
==========
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk?
It has a hole in it."
==========
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
==========
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'."
==========
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
==========
Customer: "I received the software update you sent,
but I am still getting the same error."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get
it to work?"
==========
Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft
Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word set-up disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No ..."
==========
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$?
==========
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
screen, can you see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer: "Wow, how can you see my screen from there?"
==========
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
==========
Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I
get the Server or Workstation version?"
Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or
as a server?"
Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?"
Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"
Customer: "Which one is that?"
Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."
Customer: "Ok, thanks."
==========
Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
==========
Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case
sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the
'User ID' field?"
Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."
==========
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me
at the grocery store."
==========
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
==========

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BALLS

Please read the following six statements and the amazing conclusion they lead to:

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is SOCCER.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is RUGBY.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is CRICKET.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.

The amazing conclusion:

The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

This may explain why women are taking over the corporate world.
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