[bonyhadi]

Well Endowed Leprechaun

A large man walked into a public restroom where a small
man was peeing.

The big guy said to the little one, "Excuse me for noticing,
but you have a very large dick. How did it get that
way?"

The little guy said, "Well, I'm a leprechaun, I wished
it upon myself."

The big guy said, "Wow, could you wish it upon me?"

The little guy said, "Sure, but only if you let me butt
**** you for 5 minutes.

The big guy agreed.

After it was all over the big guy said, "I can't believe
I let you do that."

The little guy said, "I can't believe you thought I
was a leprechaun.













THREE MEN ARE SITTIN' ON A BENCH. ONE'S A TEXAN
WEARING A STETSON, ONE'S A MUSLIM WEARING A
TURBAN, AND THE LAST AN APACHE WITH AN EAGLE
FEATHER WOVEN IN HIS HAIR.

THE INDIAN IS RATHER GLUM AND SAYS "ONCE MY
PEOPLE WERE MANY, BUT NOW WE ARE FEW. THE MUSLIM
PUFFS UP AND SAYS "ONCE MY PEOPLE WERE FEW, BUT
NOW WE ARE MANY MILLIONS."

THE TEXAN ADJUSTS HIS HAT, FINISHES ROLLING A
SMOKE, LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND DRAWLS,
"THAT'S
CAUSE WE AIN'T PLAYED COWBOYS AND MUSLIMS YET





















A guy is strolling down the street in London when he comes across an old lamp.

He picks it up, rubs it vigorously, and out pops a genie. The genie offers to grant him one wish, to which the guy replies, I've
always
wanted to be lucky."

The genie grants his wish. So off the bloke strolls, wondering how this will change his life, when he spies 10 quid on the
footpath. Not a
bad start he thinks. As he picks it up, he notices a Ladbrokes betting shop across the road.
He strolls over, looks through the racing lists, and sees a horse named Lucky Lad at 100/1 in the 4th at Ascot. He puts the 10
quid on
the nose, and what do you know, the horse bolts in.

Feeling on a bit of a roll, he heads to the local illegal casino, fronts up at the roulette table and puts the whole 1010 quid on
"Lucky
seven."
Round and round the wheel spins, and "bang!" on Lucky Seven.

Now he's really flying... what better way to celebrate than to head to the local brothel for a bit of horizontal folk dancing.
He knocks
and enters, when all of a sudden he is showered with streamers and handed a glass of champagne.

The madam of the establishment puts her arm around him and says, "Welcome sir!
We have much pleasure in informing you that you are our lucky 1000th customer, and you have won the right to enjoy the pleasures
on
offer from any girl who works here, absolutely free of charge."

The bloke says that he's always fancied making it with an Indian girl...

so he's ushered into one of the rooms. In strolls the most gorgeous sub-continental he has ever seen. Not much time passes
before
clothing is strewn around the room and the Karma Sutra (pp 101 to 532) is being well and truly tested.

At one point the guy pauses and says to the girl, "You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. I can't
believe how
lucky I am. But there is one thing I don't really like about Indian women. I don't like that red spot that you all have on your
forehead."

The Indian girl looks him in the eye and says, "Sir, I am here to please you and succumb to your every desire. If you wish to
see it gone,
then please scratch off my caste mark."

So the bloke goes at it with his fingernail. All of a sudden he leans back and starts laughing his ass off. "What's wrong,
what's wrong?"
asks the Indian girl.


To which the bloke replies, "You're never going to believe this, but I've just won a car!"























American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe
Lincoln.

Long distance companies don't call you to switch anymore.

You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.



You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

Your bologna has no first name.

You give blood every day ... just for the orange juice.

Sally Struther's sends you food.

McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

At communion you go back for seconds.

and last but not least...

You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.