[bonyhadi]

Vacation to Africa
A couple from the United States took a vacation to Africa and, while there,
heard about a tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
Well, the couple could not believe this, so they engaged a guide to take
them to find this tribe in a remote part of Africa.

When the couple arrived at the tribe's camp, they were permitted to inspect
the male natives' genitalia and, sure enough, each native had one 24 inches
long!

The couple asked the chief how this all came about and they were told that,
when each male child became a certain age, a string was tied around his
penis and on the other end of the string was a weight.
After a while, the weight had the effect of lengthening the penis to
24 inches.

After the couple returned home, the husband was getting out of the shower
one day and his wife looked at him and said, "What would you think about
your trying the African native string-and-weight procedure so that you can
have one like those natives?" The husband agreed and he attached the string
and weight.

A few weeks later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our tribal procedure
coming?"

He replied, "Well, we're half way there."

She asked, "You mean it's getting longer?"

He said, "No, but it's turned black.
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An older lady was somewhat lonely, and decided that she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. Nothing
seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog.
As she walked by the barrel he was in, he looked up and winked at her! He whispered, "I'm lonely too, buy me and you won't be sorry."
The old Lady figured, what the heck, as she hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog and went to her car.
Driving down the road the frog whispered to her, "Kiss me, you won't be sorry."
So, the old lady figured what the heck, and kissed the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, handsome, young prince. Then the prince kissed her back, and you know what the old lady turned
into??????
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come on, guess.........????????
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The first motel she could find. (She's old, not dead!)
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Mary: I saw an interesting TV ad for a stop-snoring product. It said, "Nothing ruins a romantic mood like snoring."
Jill: Mary, if he's snoring, the romantic mood is already over!
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ever wonder why divorce is so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
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I've really been working out lately. Soon I'll be able to touch my toes. Well, as soon as my fingernails grow another 24 inches or so.
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"Experts at Guinness have announced that a man in India has set a new world record for having the most cement blocks smashed on his groin."
"The old record was none."
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An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the
funeral, the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.
About two months later, a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man. "Hello, there. You know, we see you come out here
every day to visit your wife's grave, and we just think that's so sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always
bring it out here with you."
"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"
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More Bumper Snickers: (on the car of a young, very cute blonde) OGOPHUKYURCELPH.
Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-****.
If we are what we eat... I could be you by morning.
A hard man is good to find.
"Ax me about Ebonics."
IN-AND-OUT BURGER HOUSE trimmed to read: IN-AND-OUT URGE
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It was the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her husband running water in the bathroom,
she said, "Did you just brush your teeth?"
The husband answered, "Yes, Dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too."
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"Counter-terrorism experts are now saying that Osama Bin Laden may be hiding secret messages in pornographic websites."
"You know what that means?
Clinton could find this guy before Bush does."
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Judge to convict: "The prisons are all full, so I'm sentencing you to five years in the waiting room at the department of motor vehicles."
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LOVE AND MARRIAGE
Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is a Chinese take-out.
Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is deciding on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early. Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is losing your appetite. Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear. Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Love is a flickering flame. Marriage is a flickering television.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"
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Three women were having a drink on the patio of their country club when the door to the men's locker room blew open, exposing a man who was wearing nothing
but a towel over his head.
"Well, it's not my husband," said the first woman after looking.
"He isn't mine either," said the second.
After a long look, the third woman said, "Why, he isn't even a member!"
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