[bonyhadi]

What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.
================================================== ===========
One day a little girl went to the playground. While she was there a
little boy told her to climb up the jungle gym. "No," she said. "I'll
pay you 10 cents," he said. "OK" and she did. When she got home she
told her mother all about it. Her mother said," Don't do that he just
want's to see your underwear."

The next day the little girl went to the playground again. The
same little boy told her to climb up the jungle gym again. She told
him, "My mother said not to"He replied, "This time I'll give you
50 cents"
And so she did. When she got home she told her mother all about it.
Her mother just shrugged; "Didn't I tell you not to do that, he just
wants to see your under wear?"

The next day the little girl went to the playground again and the
same little boy asked her the same question. "No" she said. "This time
I'll give you a dollar," he said, So she did.
When she got home she told her mother and when she said, "He
just wants to look at your underwear"
She replied, " Well I guess I sure fooled him, because I didn't
wear any!"
================================================== ==========
Have y'all heard about the new Texas bra to be on the market soon?
According to the manufacturer, it "rounds 'em up and heads 'em out."
================================================== ==========
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the
door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything
there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works
hell, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the
phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the
phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,
"Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your
saxophone last night!"
================================================== ===========
What does PMS stand for?
Penis Must Suffer!
================================================== ===========
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

I poured spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.

Used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?