[bonyhadi]

A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars. A man answered the ad, but he was slightly skeptical. "What's the gimmick?" he inquired. "No
gimmick," the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuff Meat...

A man and his girlfriend were driving across the desert when they had a flat on the car.
Getting out, the boyfriend was about to start changing it when he spotted a cowboy sitting
on his horse, rolling a smoke. He told his girlfriend that he would make the cowboy change
the tire and for her to just wait there.
"Hey asshole, get down off of that horse and come over here and change this tire" he said.
The cowboy continued to roll the smoke and ignored him.
"Hey ****head, I told you to get over here and change this tire or I'm going to kick your
ass"
The cowboy looked at him and then said" I'll tell you what, fella". "I'm going to finish my
smoke. Then I'm going to get down off my horse, kick your ass, make you change that tire
while I screw your girlfriend and, I'm gonna make you hold my balls up out of the hot sand
while I do it".
As they were driving on across the desert, the girlfriend says "that cowboy was pretty
tough, wasn't he baby"?
"Naw, he wasn't so tough", said the guy. "Did you see him flinch every time I dropped his
balls in the hot sand?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This letter is being sent to you for we know that you are critically interested in your lawn. The spring season is now upon us. This is a fertilizer club and it will not cost
you a cent to join. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the top of the list and **** on the front lawn. You will not be the only one there so do not be embarrassed. Then
make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate good lawns.You will not get any money or checks, but within one week, if this
chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people ****ting on your front lawn. Your reward will come later this summer, when you will have the greenest lawn in the
neighborhood.
Miss G. Fartilizer Fizzik
744 Running Loose Lane

Mrs. Harry Butt
235 Corn Cob Alley

Mr. A. Bigger Movement
89 Rectum Road

Mrs. Lucy Bowels
29 Bed Pan Court

Mr. & Mrs. Howie Fartz
276 Blow Road

Mrs. Opal Crap
1462 Enema Drive

Mr. Charles Syringe
2 Suppository Lane

Mr. Smelley B. Hind
476 Diarrhea Way

If you are constipated, please pass this along to your neighbor. Do not break this chain. One man did not give a **** and lost his entire lawn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
World's Thinnest Books

Politically Correct Jokes On The Internet

A Female's Guide To Logical Thinking
A Guide To Australian Etiquette
A Millenium Of German Humor
Anagrams Of The Word "A"
Bedouin Olympic Swimmers'
Behave Yourself' by David Letterman
Blind Dates That Worked Out Burger King
Items That Start With "Mc"
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
Countries Where Socialism Is Successful
Detroit - A Travel Guide
Different Ways To Spell "Bob"
Ethiopian Tips On World Dominance
Everything Men Know About Women Favorite
Foreign Emigration Destinations Of The French
Feminists Worth Marrying
French Hospitality
French, 16 Year Old, Non-Smoking Virgins
Fun With Unix
George Bush: 'The Wild Years'
Good English Cooking
Good Norwegian Jokes
Household Uses For Plutonium'
How To Be A Successful Politician' by Jesse JacksonI
talian War Heroes
Jewish Sports Legends
'Life As An Air Traffic Controller' by Ray CharlesMarcel
Marceau's Greatest Speeches
Mike Tyson On Dating Etiquette
Mother Teresa's Guide To Erotic Pottery
'My Favorite Barbers' by Yassir Arafat
'My Life As A Woman' by Martina Navratilova
'My Life Without Michael' by LaToya Jackson
'My Thoughts' by Ronald Reagan
National Directory Of Irish AA Members
Olympic Athletes Who Think Sports Are Really Stupid
One-Legged Folk Dances
'On Human Rights' by Fidel Castro
Party Tricks With Boiling Lead
Proud Parents Of Rock Musicians
Public Political Activities during Franco's Government In Spain
Romantic Words Beginning With "X"
Scottish World Cup Successes
Sign Language For The Blind
Successful Applications Of Artificial Intelligence
Sylverster Stallone's Dramatic Acting Tips
The Genius Of Barry Manilow
'The Road To Lasting Economic Succes' by Boris Yeltsin
The Total Vocabulary Of Arnold Schwarzenegger
Things That Look Like An Apple, Taste Like An Apple, But Are Not An Apple
Things That Taste Better With Arsenic
Things You Could Buy At The World Artichoke Festival
Venezuelans Who Know Spelling
Vice Presidents With Really Good Ideas'
Why People Are More Important Than Animals' by Greenpeace
Young, single Males Speak Out Against Masturbation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Sue-Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set
chopsticks at our places.Sue-Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her
own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo
forests for throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~


Did you hear about the restaurant that promotes
safe sex?

They write the bill on a condom so you can wine and dine your date,
and then stick her with the bill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, a class of third graders from the city
was taking a field trip to the country to visit a
small farm. The kids were amazed to see all the
different kinds of animals on the farm.

So the farmer asks one little girl, "What's the
difference between a rooster and a hen?"
"The hen lays eggs." replied the little girl.
"Very good!" said the farmer.

Then the farmer asked another little girl,
"What's the difference between a duck and a
turkey?" "Well," replied the little girl, "Turkeys can't swim and turkeys are what we have
on Thanksgiving Day."



"Very good!" exclaimed the

farmer.

Then he asks little Johnny, "Do you know the
difference between a bull and a cow?"
"Yes, I do" replied little Johnny from the city.
"Bulls smile when you milk them."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so
he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.
To prove his theory, he filled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each
person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately
until he came to the last man in line, an elderly gentleman, who was grinning from ear to ear.
"Twice a day," the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when the man says no.
"Once a day, then?" Again the answer is no.
"Twice a week?" "No."
"Twice a month?" "No."
The man finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year."
The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the elderly gentleman, "What the
heck are you so happy about?"
The gent answered, "Tonight's the night!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
They can't keep their calves together!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten Answers Men Would Like to Give to Woman's Stupid Questions...


1. No we can't be friends; I just want you for sex.

2. The dress doesn't make you look fat, it's all that ice cream and chocolate you eat that makes
you look fat.

3. You've got no chance of me calling you.

4. No, I won't be gentle.

5. Of course you have to swallow.

6. Well yes actually, I do this all the time.

7. I hate your friends.

8. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you after tonight.

9. I'd rather watch a porno.

10. Eat it??? It took me ten beers to get up the courage to screw it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kevin pulled in and said to the farmer, "There's no cow in the
world worth five thousand dollars."

The farmer said, "Oh, yeah? Take a look at this!" He lifted the
cow's tail, and Kevin saw that the cow had a snatch just like
a woman.

Kevin got back in the car, turned to his wife, and began to cry,
"It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow that has a
snatch like a woman and it's worth $5000. And here I am, with
you, with a snatch like a cow, and you ain't worth ****!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~