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Old 08-08-2002, 06:15 PM
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bonyhadi bonyhadi is offline
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According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for most in a woman is a sense of humor and a good personality.
This was a survey published in 'Full Of **** Magazine.'
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From A Man's Point Of View:



If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys

I remember when I got married.
I remember where I got married.
But for the life of me, I can't remember why
I got married.

Women!
You can't live with them,
you can't do most positions without them.

There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...
I never believed in Hell until I met you."


Q ~ Why are men so concerned about the size of their penises?
A ~ Because they should be

Known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense thing is no myth. Women seem to know what's going on in their man's
lives almost better than they do. Why is this?

In the early 80's researchers discovered that women have more connections between the brain's two hemispheres than
men do. It's these connections that allow them to put together a puzzle from seemingly
unconnectable pieces.

That, and they go through your **** while you're in the shower.

Did you know that the word ALIMONY is really a contraction?

It's short for "all my money"

The definition of irreconcilable differences?
When she's melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3*" floppy


Anniversary

A couple had been married for thirty years.
On their anniversary they decided to
go back to the same hotel where they
had spent their blissful wedding night.

The husband was lying on the bed when
the wife came out of the bathroom
totally nude, just as she had done
thirty years ago. Standing seductively
before him, she asked, "Tell me, darling,
what were you thinking thirty years ago
when I came out of the bathroom like this?"

"I took one look at you and thought I'd
like to screw your brains out and
suck your boobs dry!"

"And what are you thinking now, baby?"
she asked huskily.

"I'm thinking I did a pretty good job of it."



A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot
of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

Finally, he asked, "Do you ever watch your girlfriend's face while you're having sex?"

"Well, yes, I did once."

"Well, how did she look?"

"Oh boy, she looked VERY angry!"

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must
look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend's face once during sex; that seems
somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"
"She was watching us through the window."

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about
your baby."

The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong???"

The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a
hermaphrodite."

The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite... what's that???"

"Well, it means your baby has the...er... features... of a male and a female."

The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my G-d! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"

Jill went to the bank and applied for a loan.
"I want a loan, I'm going to divorce my husband."
"Oh, we don't give loans for divorces" the manager
says "We make loans for appliances, automobiles,
businesses, home improvements...."

Jill interrupts and says "Well, this is certainly a
'Home Improvement.'
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