[bonyhadi]

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa
mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!" The
mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!" The
baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the
bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is....
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MOLASSES!








Babysitting
-----------------------------------
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went
to town shopping. He decided to go fishing so he took her with him.

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening.
"I didn't catch a thing!"

"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the
fish away," his mother said.

The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."












"What Do You Think?"
----------------------------------
A fellow took his talking dog to a show business talent agent, and the
dog told six or eight familiar old jokes, including a couple with French
and British accents.

"What do you think?" the dog's owner asked the agent. "We're gonna
make a fortune, right?"

"Well," the agent replied, "his delivery's all right, but his
material's weak."











What A Weigh To Guess
---------------------------------
Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital.
When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to
guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to
venture a number.

"Looks like 91/2 pounds," he offered confidently.

"This must not be your first," I said.

"Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first."

"Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman."











An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands
holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a
headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."












A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat
beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his
nails and moaning in fear.


"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy.
"Omigod I've been transferred to Los Angeles, the second answered.
They've got race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate in the
world, smugglers, aliens..."


"Hold on," said the first. "I've been in Los Angeles all my life, and
its not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your
own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as
anywhere in the world."

The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank
god. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll
take your word for it. What do you do for a living?
"Me?" said the first. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser Beer Truck."


















On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

- Two Italian men and one Italian woman - Two French men and one French woman - Two German men and one
German woman - Two
Greek men and one Greek woman - Two English men and one English woman - Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian
woman - Two
Japanese men and one Japanese woman - Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman - Two Irish men and one Irish
woman - Two
American men and one American woman


One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following
things have occurred:


* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.

* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman
pregnant in order to supply
employees for their store.

* The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if
sex is in the picture because it
gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English
aren't having any fun.

* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains
relentlessly about her
body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do,
the necessity of fulfillment, the
equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend
respected her opinion and treated
her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and
why didn't they bring a goddamn
cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this godforsaken deserted island in the
middle of friggin' nowhere so she can
get her nails done and go shopping...










Three aspiring psychiatrists attended their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from the University of Texas, "What
is the opposite of Joy?

"Sadness," responded the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked the student from Harvard.

"Elation" was her reply.

"And you, sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M. "How about the opposite of woe?"

The Aggie replied, "Sir, that would be giddy-up."










In Pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name:
Tylenol is acetaminophen, Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, Advil is ibuprofen, and so on.

The US Federal Drug Administration has been looking for a generic name for Viagra and has announced that is
has settled on Mycoxafailin. Also considered were
Mycoxaflopin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Mydixadud, and Alimpdixafixit, and of course, Ibepokin!!