@ RESCUED COAL MINER'S A BIG POLITICAL NO-NO!!!
> Date: Tue, 13 Aug 2002 06:53:43 -0700
>
>
>
> A Senate Committee, composed of Senators Tom Daschle
> (D-SD), Hillary Clinton (D-NY), and Diane Feinstein
(D-CA), has announced that the rescue of the
> Pennsylvania coal miners has been cancelled, and the
> miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be
placed back in the mine.
>
> The Senators noted the following violations in the
> rescue process:
> 10. Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue
> site without concern for possible air pollution.
> > 9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first
> determining if it was polluted, or providing an
environmentally safe catchment area for the water.
> > 8. Numerous holes were drilled in the ground
> during the rescue, without first performing an
Environmental Impact study.
> > 7. No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic,
> and sexual diversity of the rescue workers.
> > 6. The Republican Governor of Pennsylvania was
> heard to "Thank God" during a live television
broadcast of the rescue, violating the separation
> of church and state.
> > 5. Several people at this public, government
> supported, rescue effort mentioned praying.
> > 4. The trapped miners did not represent a
> diversified cross section of American society.
> > 3. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary
> Clinton were not given
> > sufficient time to make speeches at the site. Bill
> Clinton was in Australia and also could not be
contacted in time.
> > 2. The Senate was not given sufficient time to
> determine whether or not any Republican officeholder
owned stock in the coal company, thus being
> > responsible for the conspiracy that caused the
> mine to flood.
> >
> > And Number 1....
> > No one mentioned that Al Gore invented mine
> rescues.
> >
> > "Once a proper diversified group of miners has
> been chosen and placed back into the mine shaft, the
holes will be sealed, the water will be returned
> > to the mine, and the rescue will then be
> undertaken again, in an environmentally and
politically correct manner", the Committee
> noted.
> >
> > Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) also suggested that, as
> he had experience, perhaps a "bridge" could be
constructed as a cheaper method of rescue.
> >
Strange...Very Strange
-----------------------------------
>From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on
a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
Fidgeted, Whined, and Punched
----------------------------------
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier
41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched
with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young
children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled
parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the
father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
Checkout Redemption
---------------------------------
While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the clerk at the checkout
counter, I inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath
the scale and was gone.
The checker looked distressed, so I said to the her, "That's okay, it's
in coupon heaven now."
"Coupon heaven?", the checker said.
"Yes", I said, "That's where coupons go when they die."
"Only the redeemed ones, I'm sure!", said the checker.
Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
