Not Ranked
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off
to the doctors. "Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the
little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a
blood test and see what that shows, come back and see me in a
couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the
results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag. "I'm
afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor.
"No, I can't be I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little
paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper
bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous
drug users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper
bag!"
"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a
blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just little
paper bag!"
"Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor.
"Your mother must have been a carrier."
Joe buys a parrot, and the first night he has it, he brings home a girl,
and the parrot screeches, "He's gonna try to **** you! He's gonna try to
**** you!"
After he takes her home, he says to the parrot, "You pull that ****
again, I'll slash your throat and throw you in the toilet."
The next night, he brings home a girl, and the parrot screeches, "He's
gonna try to **** you! He's gonna try to **** you!"
Joe grabs the parrot, slashes his throat, and throws him in the toilet.
He goes back to the girl and it turns out she's having her period, so
she excuses herself to go yank out her tampon.
She's sitting on the bowl after she yanks it out, when she hears, I'm
gonna live! I'm gonna live!"
She says, "What do you mean, 'You're gonna live'?"
The parrot points to her bloody snatch and says, "If you can live with a
gash like THAT, I can live with a gash like This!"
The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he
meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question
about what I have seen in America."
*
President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do. The Saudi whispers "My
son watches this show 'StarTrek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs.
He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
*
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back, "It's because it takes place in the
future...."
*
__________________
Need more horsepower, raki and where in the hell did The REDHEAD go off to?
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