[bonyhadi]

Public Service Message for Women, to better understand the Male
Animal.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the
thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking
for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows
up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all
these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I
lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you this isn't an issue.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or
bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'Cumin' or
'Tofu.' For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to
pick up anything for which 'feminine hygiene product' is a
euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart,
despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once
the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask
someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger - I
mean, how could he possibly know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either
sex or football, though I have to make up something
else when you ask, so don't.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk
to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I
have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget
to pick up something for my mommy, too!
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.Chances are, if you're crying at
the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five
minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the
belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now
Because I'm a man and this is, after all, the '00s, I will share equally in the housework. You
just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning,
and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

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This has been a Public Service Message for Women, to better understand the Male Animal.











The height of confidence is coming home at 3am, drunk and smelling of
perfume,
and then slapping your wife on the bum saying: "Youre Next!".

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those that understand binary,

and those that don't.

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Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find
that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the
lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several
nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a
solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?
For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and
squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want
to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.

"The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife. "Great
idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis
one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis...
fifty times"