[bonyhadi]

Mum is working in the farmhouse kitchen when dad enters with his
first erection in years.

"Mum, get into bed!" he says.

She takes off her apron, puts all the ingredients and utensils
away, washes her hands, gets into bed... but too late. Dad has
withered away.

"Ya know, we can't have this happen again," says dad, "next time
I get one of these I'll ring the fire bell so you can start
getting ready when you hear it. When I get to the house, we'll be
right."

A year goes by. Mum's in the kitchen. She hears the fire bell.
She goes through all the preparations. Dad comes pounding into
the house, through the kitchen, into the bedroom where mum lies
naked waiting for him. He looks her over and says,

"Get up, ya oversexed fool... the barn's on fire!"
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Fishing Vs Women


1. A big, juicy worm always gets a fish excited.
2. You don't have to eat a fish while it's still flopping around.
3. You can go in the bush anytime you want.
4. Stroking your rod won't piss off a trout.
5. Sipping a beer and scratching your balls is all the foreplay
expected of you.
6. Anything you stick in a fish's face, it eats.
7. A fish will never gag, choke, or come up for air.
8. 2 hours of complete silence.(ok, a 2 hour blowjob will achieve the
same thing... but then you will owe her a diamond the size of a small
rodent!)
9. You wear rubbers on your feet, not on your dick.
10. If you want a bigger pole, you can have a bigger pole.
11. A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.
12. It's okay to cook a fish to make it taste good.
13. Fish bite for a guy of 60, same as they do for a guy of 20.
14. You're never called a jerk when you throw back an ugly fish.
15. Fish are real happy when you pick up your gear and go home.
16. You generally can go home with a dozen fish before anyone says
anything.
17. The fish will usually nibble gently on your worm before they engulf
it entirely in their mouth.
18. If you pull out too quickly, all that happens is that you have a
happy fish.
19. A fish doesn't care how big your rod is.
20. Blowfish!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Statistical Findings:

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place
36% of the women favour nudity
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes
46% of the women experienced anal sex
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in
the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the
office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
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