Sister Mary Holycard was in her 60s' and much admired for her sweetness
& kindness to all.
One afternoon early in spring a priest came to see her to chat and so
she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She then invited him to have
a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the
young priest noticed a crystal glass bowl sitting on top of it filled
with water and in it a condom. Imagine how shocked and surprised he was.
Imagine his curosity.!! Surely, he thought Sister Mary had flipped or
something.
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. Of course,
the priest tried to stifle his curosity about the bowl of water and the
strange floater in it., but it soon got the better of him and he could
resist no longer.
"Sister," he said ," I wonder if you could tell me about this?" pointing
to the crystal bowl.
"Oh yes" she replied isn't it wonderful?" I was walking downtown one
day last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to
put it on the organ, keep it wet and it would prevent disease. And you
know I haven't had a cold all winter."
Here is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced to* his
congregation: I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money
to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your
pockets. : )
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of
the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the
carriage was a hand printed sign... Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and
grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question "Boys and girls, what do we
know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten
boy. "Really?* How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does
art in Heaven... "
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday
weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in
front of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young
man, sorry about the delay.
It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean; same in my business."
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People want the front of the bus, back of the church & center of attention.
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Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws
trying to enforce 10 commandments.
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Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds of people in world, there are
those who wake up in the morning and say
"Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
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A minister parked his car in a no -- parking zone in a large city because he was
short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the
windshield wiper that read: I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here,
I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES. When he returned, he found a
citation from a police officer along with this note. I've circled this block for 10
years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.
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A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, I know what the
Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' What the
Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "So, what does
the Bible mean?" "Daddy, It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth
STUNNING NEW PROOF: NASA NEVER WENT TO THE MOON!
What astronautical idiots! The shadows were all wrong, and
even reflections in the helmets, when magnified, show a dude
with a Nikon wearing street clothes taking a snap!
Old people should demand a tax refund from 1969!
********
http://www.dc8p.com/html/moonhoax.html
I'm MORE than
unconvinced!