[bonyhadi]

DOCUMENTARY REPORT

A famous reporter was doing a documentary on the customs of the American Indians. After a tour of a reservation that they were on, she
asked a young Indian what was the significance and major differences in the number of feathers on the head dresses that they were
wearing. The young Indian who only had one feather on his head dress replied, "ME ONLY HAVE ONE WIFE, ME HAVE ONLY ONE
FEATHER."

She asked another young Indian, feeling that the first Indian was only joking. This young Indian had four feathers on his head dress. He
replied, "OGH! ME HAVE FOUR FEATHERS BECAUSE ME SLEEPS WITH FOUR WIVES."

Still not very convinced about the number of the feathers actually indicated the number of wives involved. She decided to interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a head dress full of feathers, which needless to say, amused the reporter. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so
many feathers on your head dress?"

The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "ME CHIEF! ME ****-EM ALL, BIG, SMALL, FAT, TALL, ME ****-EM ALL!!!"

Horrified, the reporter stated, "You ought to be hung!!"

The Chief replied, "YOU DAMNED RIGHT, ME HUNG......BIG LIKE BUFFALO. LONG LIKE SNAKE!!!"

The reporter cried, "You don't have to be so hostile."

The Chief replied, "HORSE-STYLE, DOG-STYLE, WOLF-STYLE, ME ****-EM ALL!!!"

Tears in her eyes, the reporter cried, "Oh dear!!!"

The Chief protest, "NO DEER, ME NO **** DEER, ASSHOLE TOO HIGH AND ****ER RUN TOO FAST, ME NO **** DEER!"
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DADDY LONGLEGS

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she
just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that **** in our garden."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A class in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy
handed in his slip
and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What are the 2 most important holes of a woman?
A: Her nostrils, so that she can breathe while giving a blowjob.
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SO HAPPY

A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please
her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon when the young
Japanese bride crawled out of the bed after making love and she stooped down to pick up her
husband's clothes and she let out a big fart.

She looked up and said, "Excuse please, front hole so happy back hole whistle!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
FATHER JOHN

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene Edwards was also instructed not to look at Fr. John's nakedness if she could help it, do
whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had done.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between
his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I
would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact," said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of the Lord would soon swell my heart
with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
GENERIC NAMES

In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name: Tylenol is acetaminophen, Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, Advil is Ibuprofen, and
so on.

The US Federal Drug Administration has been looking for a generic name for Viagra, and announced that it has settled on Mycoxafailin.
Also considered were Mycoxafloppin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Mydixadud, and Alimpdixafixit. And of course, Ibepokin.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
RECENT TECHNOLOGY

A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of
a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin close to the groin. The
patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.

--- Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant:

~ Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.

~ Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of orgasm related headlines.

~ Dad: now surfs with two remotes; Mum: never complains

~ She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and she's out the door.

~ Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at 600 quid to fix the hole your wife kicked in the
dashboard of your SUV.

~ The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming...

~ "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumb ache."

~ Finally, size really doesn't matter.

~ "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention... I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying
attention...I'm sorry..."

~ Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout your surgeon's name.

~ Side effects? Who cares about... oh... oh... OH, G-D! YESSSSSS!!!!

~ In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Ultimate Universal Remote now
has a new button: "Big O."

~ Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner... errr, never mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back
of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to
shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to
inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the
deck and in her butt was was a pearl worth $30,000 . . .please advise"
The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"
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TRIVIA
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception

Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until youwould find the
letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers & laser printers all have in
common?
A. All invented by women

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. There are more long distance phone calls on this day than any other day of the year.
What day is it?
A. Mother's Day

Q. There are more collect phone calls on this day than any other day of the year. What day
is it?
A. Father's Day

Q. What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet
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Little Johnny's teacher ask him to use a sentence with the word Roach in it.

"The Cockroach ran across the floor" replied Little Johnny.

"No," said his teacher: "Repeat the sentence and leave the Cock out"

"Ok....The Roach ran across the floor with its Cock out." replied
Little Johnny.
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Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
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