[bonyhadi]

Q: Why is a turd better than a woman?
A: Because after you lay a turd you don't have to hug and kiss it.

Q: Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire?
A: It's for foul balls.

Q: Why do Africans wear Baggy pants?
A: Because their knee grows.

Q: What tastes good on pie but not on *****?
A: Crust.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library?
A: Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been colored in yet.

Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So no one confuses them with feminists.

Q: What's green, and has 12 tits?
A: A garbage bag at a breast cancer clinic.

Q: What is the difference between American sewers and Mexican sewers?
A: Mexican sewers have diving boards!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.

Q: Did you see Roman Polanski's new movie?
A: Close Encounters With The Third Grade.

Q: What's the definition of a woman?
A: Life support for a vagina.

Q: What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?
A: A trip without the kids

Q: How can you pick an Italian air plane?
A: They're the ones with the hair under the wings.

Q: What's the definition of a virgin?
A: An ugly second grader.

Q: Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook?
A: 100 ways to wok your dog.

Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A: So when you pull on their tits they don't **** on you.

Q: What do white babies become when they die?
A: Angels.
Q: What do black babies become when they die?
A: Bats.

Q: Why did G-d create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could get laid too.

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says,
"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Q: What is the difference between a fag and a freezer.
A: The freezer don't fart when you take the meat out!

Q: What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A: Two ******s with hemorrhoids.

Q: Why do they bury Aborigines 100 feet underground?
A: Because deep, deep down they're nice people.

Q: Why did the Pakistani trade his wife for an outhouse?
A: Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.

Q: What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
A: In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.

Q: Why do birds fly upside down over Italy?
A: Because there's nothing worth ****ting on.

Q: What's the first thing a women released from a battered women's shelter should do?
A: The dishes, if she's smart.

Q: What's the most important question to ask when you want to have safe sex?
A: What time will your husband get home?

Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.

Q: Why does everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic?
A: It's a soft job.

Q: Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
A: It seats 500.

Q: What's the difference between wives and secretaries?
A: Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big behind at home.

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: When your girlfriend does a split and your best friends class ring falls out.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.

Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
A: He wiped the chain and pulled himself.

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: "I can do so much better."
Q: What did he say after he created woman?
A: "Guess I was wrong!"

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Q: What's worse than your best friend telling you that he's a ******?
A: When he tells you that he &%(*$ you that night you passed out drunk on his couch!

Q: Why don't Italians eat flies?
A: They can't get their little legs apart.

Q: What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A: A scrotum pole!

Q: Why won't Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu give
the Palestinian's their land back?
A: Because it's in his wife's name.

Q: What is the definition of "making love?"
A: Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck his dick.

Q: Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
A: Because they couldn't fit all that **** into a sneaker.

Q: Why don't women have brains?
A: They don't have a cock to keep them in!

Q: How do we know God is a man?
A: Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.

Q: Why do they play on artificial turf in Poland?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

Q: How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?
A: The Blacks get car insurance.

Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

Q: Did you hear about the Irish Tap Dancer?
A: She fell into the sink.

Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: Salad Shooter

Q: How do you get four ******s to share a barstool?
Q: Turn it upside down!

Q: What do you do if you see a Vietnamese drowning?
A: Throw in his wife and kids!

Q: What do 60,000 abused woman have in common?
A: They don't &*%($& listen!

Q: What do you call a thick fingered lesbian?
A: Well hung

Q: What's the most amazing thing about AIDS?
A: It can turn a fruit into a vegetable!

Q: What did the Mexican do with his first 50 cent piece?
A: He married her.

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Mexico?
A: Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course?
A: The players don't yell "FORE!" they yell "$3.99!"

Q: What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.

Q: Why aren't there any Indians on the starship enterprise?
A: Because they don't work in the future either.

Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
A: He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

Q: Did you hear about the homo Mountie?
A: He jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.

Q: What do you call a Muslim roofing contractor?
A: Shiite on a shingle.

Q: Why is a pedophile like the turtle?
A: 'Cause he got there before the hare.

Q: What do you call a woman in the army?
A: A WAC.
Q: What do you call a black woman in the army?
A: A WACOON.

Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry it!

Q: What has 100 teeth and can hold back a huge monster?
A: My zipper.

Q: What's the difference between spit and swallow?
A: Forty pounds of pressure on the back of her head.

Q: How do you know if a man has a really ugly wife?
A: Her pet name is "Spot".

Q: What is green, two miles long and has an arsehole every two feet?
A: The St. Patrick's Day parade.

Q: Why was John Wayne's toilet paper taken off the market?
A: Because it was rough, tough, and didn't take **** from any asshole.

Q: Why do Italian men have mustaches?
A: So they can look like their mothers.

Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident?
A: Some prick cut her off.

Q: What was Adolf Hitler's favorite song?
A: "If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a kike!"

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Station Wagon?
A: Not only can it TURN on a dime, but it can pick one up.

Q: Why don't employers give blondes coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to re train them.

Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer said to Lorena Bobbitt?
A: "You gonna eat that?"

Q: Did you know 70% of the ****** population were born that way?
A: The other 30% were sucked into it.

Q: Why do women parachutists wear tampons?
A: So they don't whistle on the way down.

Q: What do you call an empty beer bottle in an Indian reserve?
A: An Indian artifact

Q: What do you call two ******s on a waterbed?
A: A fruit float!

Q: What's the definition of a maniac?
A: An Italian in a whorehouse with a credit card.

Q: Why are synagogues round?
A: So the Jews have nowhere to run when they pass out the collection plate.

Q: What do you call a Jewish woman's waterbed?
A: The Dead Sea.

Q: What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?
A: You can't gargle sand!

Q: Why do women have legs?
A: Ever seen the mess a snail makes?


Q: What do you get when you cross a homo Eskimo and a black?
A: A snowblower that doesn't work.

Q: What's the Latin name for a lesbian?
A: Strapadictomy.

Q: What is the leading cause of death among lesbians?
A: Hairballs.

Q: What do you call a homo Jewish Male?
A: A Heblew.

Q: How do you confuse a Scientologist?
A: Hand him a personality test that has "see other side" written on both sides.