[bonyhadi]

WHICH FART ARE YOU

ART FART
It's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.

ARROGANT FART
When you think your farts don't stink.

ASSAULT FART
A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.

TIRE FART
You can't control the blow out.

BEER FARTS
These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer.

JAIL FART
Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.

DONKEY FART
Your ass is the only one that can do it.

GHOST FART
You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it.

HOME ALONE FART
When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.

SHOE FART
When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.

TANK FART
When you refer to your farts as 'gas'.

OLD FART
You know how old it is by how bad it smells.

BRAIN FART
You need to fart, but nothing comes out.

ALZHEIMER FART
A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.

NOT-ME FART
When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give
a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!"

U.F.O. FART
When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Which Condom Would You Use?

Nike Condoms: Just Do It!

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling!

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby!

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop!

Ford Condoms: The best never rest!

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock!

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey you never know!

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever!

KFC Condoms: Finger-licking good! !

Coca Cola Condoms: Always the real thing!

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one!

Campbell's Soup Condoms:Mmm mmm good!

AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone!

Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper!

Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going....!

M&M Condoms: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border!

MCI Condoms: For friends and family!

Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
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The Ten Commandments, Ebonically Interpreted :
1. I be G-d. Don' be dissing me.
2. Don' be makin hood ornaments outa me or nothin in my crib.
3. Don' be callin me for no reason - homey don' play that.
4. Y'all betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know who ya daddy is, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' ice ya bros.
7. Stick it to ya own woman.
8. Don' be liftin no goods.
9. Don' be frontin like you all that an no snitchin on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nuffin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sign on the escalator door read, "This escalator is out of whack." By the next day someone used a crayon to add "More whack is on order."
=======================================
The madam of a whorehouse is having a great year for business, so she
decides to divide her reception area in half so she'll have another
bedroom.

She calls a carpenter in to do the work. He puts up the wall and when
he's finished, he says, "That'll be fifteen hundred bucks, Miss."

She takes him by the hand, leads him into the new bedroom, takes off all
her clothes, and lies on the floor with her legs wide apart. She says
with a smile, "I don't have any cash, so I thought you might like to
take it out in trade."

He gets down on the floor next to her, puts his middle finger in her
asshole and his thumb in her ***** and says, "All right, lady, give me
my fifteen hundred bucks or I'm gonna rip out the partition!"
~~~THE PENIS POEM~~~

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,
>From my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job,
To find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoe.

~~~HALFWAY~~~

The mother catches her kid masturbating and warns him:

"Futh, you're gonna go BLIND if you keep touching yourself."

And the kid answers, "Well, can I just do it, then, until I need
glasses
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