[bonyhadi]

Three young women are at a cocktail party.
The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that
they are trying to one-up each other.
The first one says,
"My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for
two weeks on vacation,"
and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second one says,
"Well, my husband just bought me a New Mercedes,"
and looks about with considerable pride.
Number three says,
"Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money
and we don't have nay material possessions.
However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that
thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says,
"Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you.
You know that vacation I was telling you about?
Well, It's not to the French Riviera. It's to my parents' house in
Philadelphia for two weeks."
The second one says,
"Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes.
He bought me a Honda."
"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make.
Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"
=====================
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a
caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry
a virgin?
To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."
================================================== ====================
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing
to marry a man if he has never been with a woman.

After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out
a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his
entire life in the Australian outback. They end up getting married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom. When she returns
to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the
room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I've never been with a woman," he says, "but if it's anything like a
kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get."
================================================== ====================
THIS IS A NATIONWIDE BULLETIN.....
a truck carrying a load of Viagra has been hijacked!!
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.......
================================================== ====================
Creeping around to the bedroom window, the private detectives saw
their client's wife in bed with another man.

"Just as I suspected," said the first. "Let's go in after him."

"Great idea," the other replied. "How soon do you think he'll be
finished?"
==============================
An irate guy stormed into a drug store looking like he'd just been
dragged out of a river. Clutching a rumpled box of sanitary napkins he
says to the clerk, "S.O.B.! I'm gonna sue your ass for selling me this
bull****!" "What are you talking about?" asks the startled clerk.
"Look here," says the guy, pointing to the wrinkled box, eyes popping
with rage.
"It says, 'You can swim while wearing these.' "Don't it say that?
Well, S.O.B., that's a gotdam lie! I had six of these bull**** things
tied 'round me and I damn near drowned!"
====================================
Why are Jewish Mothers always excused from jury duty?
They all insist that they're the guilty ones.
==================================