[bonyhadi]

John, a straight guy, and Charles, a gay guy, were watching football on
TV.
Charles asked John, "Hey, do you want to play a game?"

John thinks for a second and replies, "Sure, why not!"

Charles begins to state the rules of the game and says to John, "What
you have to do is drink a mug of beer for 6 points and pull down your
pants, bend over and fart for the extra point!"

"Piece of cake, let's do it!" John replies.

"I'll go first," shouts Charles.

He stands up, gulps down the first mug of beer for 6 points and pulls
down his pants, bends over and farts for the extra point. "Seven zip,
your turn!" he says to John.

John gets ready to begin. He stands up, gulps down his mug of beer for

6 points, then pulls down his pants and bends over for the extra point.


Charles suddenly jumps up, whips out his pecker and rams it into John
ass and shouts, "BLOCK THAT KICK!! BLOCK THAT KICK!!"
=========================
A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she
squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans.
Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she
asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of
the house?"
"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house isn't blue."
==================================
When someone asks how you are, tell them "FINE"!
****ed up
Insecure
Neurotic &
Emotional
==============================
What do you call a redneck who has a dog and a cat?
Bisexual.
======================
A man was getting ready for work one morning when his wife looked at
him and said, "What is the matter with you? You look terrible." He
replied that he felt great.
The man went to work where his boss took one look at him and said,
"What is the matter with you? You look terrible." The man replied that
there was nothing wrong with him and that he felt great. The man went
to lunch with a client and the client looked at him and said, "What is
the matter with you? You look terrible."
The man again replied that he felt great.
The client suggested he go to the doctor right away because he looked
so bad.
The man went to the doctor, and when the doctor walked into the
examining room and saw him the doctor said, "My G-d, you look
terrible."
The man explained that everyone was telling him that he looked terrible
but that he felt great.
The doctor said, "Are you sure you feel great?" The man reiterated that

he definitely felt great! The doctor got out his medical book and
looked up "looks terrible". After he found that he looked up the
subsection "feels great".
The doctor said, "I found it right here under 'looks terrible, feels
great'. The man, at this point very nervous, inquired to the doctor,
"Tell me, what is it?"
The doctor replied, "According to my book... you're a vagina!"
==============
Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Yes, Intercourse you go between periods and you are expected to come.
=======================================
Blonde Revenge!

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT'S A BRUNETTE'S MATING CALL?
Has the blonde left yet?

WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE?
Brown-bagging it.

WHO MAKES BRAS FOR BRUNETTES?
Fisher Price.

WHY ARE BRUNETTES SO PROUD OF THEIR HAIR?
It matches their mustache.

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
=========================
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A 747?
NOT EVERYONE HAS BEEN ON A 747 !
========
Did you hear about the blonde man who had 8 vasectomies?
He had to his wife kept getting pregnant
===============================
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes
back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses
a note to the Chinaman that says,
"Use more soap on panties."

This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the
laundry.

Finally fed up the Chinaman responded with his own note that said,
"Use more paper on ass."
==========================
PRAYERS AROUND THE ZODIAC
ARIES: Dear G-d, please give me patience ... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS: Dear G-d, help me accept change, but let's do it my way.
GEMINI: Dear G-d! Who is G-d? Where is G-d? Why is G-d?
CANCER: Dear G-d!!!
LEO: Yes? Hello G-d...are you listening to me ?
VIRGO: Dear G-d, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA: Dear G-d, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the low-life scum don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS: Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN: Dear G-d! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS: Dear G-d, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES: Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.
================================
This truckie is cruising down the highway when he picks up some slut hitch-hiking...

He just gets rolling again and she says " pull over will ya, I need a piss"

"**** that!" he says, "I just got 'er into top gear, you'll have to piss out the window".

So she winds down the window and sticks her ass out and starts pissin'.

Just as she's doing it, these two bikies go past and she sprays piss all over them.

A few minutes later the bikies stop for some gas, and one of them says to his mate,.
"****in' hell,.. those truckies sure can spit!"
and the other guy says,.."little wonder did you see the size of the lips on the bastard!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's better to have sex with women over fifty because, they don't yell, they don't tell, they don't swell, and they are grateful as hell!!
==================================
Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq...
Ruled by a dick.
==========================
"Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can't live without me,
and she wants to marry me."

"And you're asking my permission to marry her?"

"No, I'm asking you to make her leave me friggin alone."
====================