[CobraDan]

MODERN FINANCIAL TERMS, EXPLAINED:

EBIT -- earnings before irregularities and tampering.

CEO -- chief embezzlement officer.

CFO -- corporate fraud officer.

NAV -- normal Anderson valuation.

P/E -- parole entitlement.

EPS -- eventual prison sentence.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement
causing an investor to mistake himself for a
financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when
the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry,
and the husband gets no sex.

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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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A blonde in her fourth freshman year at UCLA,
sat in her U.S. Government Class, when the
professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs.
Wade decision was.

She sat there for quite a while pondering this
very profound question and finally sighed and said,
"I think that is the decision George Washington
made prior to crossing the Delaware!"