[bonyhadi]

Two women, Connie and Lori who were
rivals in a social circle met at a party.

"My dear," said Connie "Are those real pearls?"

"They are," replied Lori

"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me
to bite them." Smiled Connie

Lori responded "Yes, but for that you would need
real teeth."



Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl asked. "No I don't
think
so._Fifi_ is in heat." replied the_mother. "What does that mean ?" asked the
child._Embarrassed
and not wanting to get into a biological discussion with her young daughter the mother
said
"Oh, just go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the
garage
and says,"Dad may I take Fifi for a walk around the block? I asked mom, but she said Fifi
was
in heat, and I had to come talk to you." Not wanting to have the biological discussion
either,
the father said,"Bring Fifi over here." he took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and
scurbbed
the dog's rear end with it. "Okay, now you can go for a walk, but keep Fifi on the leash
and
you can only go around the block once." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes
later
with NO DOG on the leash. "Where is Fifi?" asked her father. "She ran out of gas about
halfway
down the block and another dog is pushing her home"











This little boy goes up to his father and he says "Dad? what's the difference between
Potentially and Realistically?" To which the father says "well son, go ask your mother if
she
would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would
sleep
with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom
Cruise
for a million dollars." So the boy goes up to his mother and asks her if she would sleep
with
Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies "oh my god of course I would,
he
is so good looking!" so the boy goes to his sister and asks her if she would sleep with
Brad
Pitt for a million dollars, and she replies "He is so ****ing fine, of course I would!"
then
the boy goes to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million
dollars, and the brother says "Of course I would, who wouldn't for a million dollars?" so
he
goes to his father and says "I think I learned the difference between potentially and
realilstically" "well what's the difference?" says the father. "Well potentially we're
sitting
on 3 million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag."