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Old 11-04-2002, 06:09 AM
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bonyhadi bonyhadi is offline
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After the end of the Finnish war, a young female reporter from a
British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about
the soldiers homecoming. She had interviewed half a dozen, when
she met Pekka on the street.

"Excuse me," she said, "were you in the war?"

"Yah, I was in the infantry."

"Would you mind answering a few questions for a newspaper article?"

"Nej, I wouldn't mind at all."

"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first
thing you did?"

"I ****ed my wife," Pekka said bluntly.

The journalist went crimson, and tried desperately to change the
subject.

"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"

"I ****ed her again," he answered.

The journalist turned an even darker shade of red. "Other than
that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"

"Then I took off my skis, my heavy backpack and ate."
======================================
Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in Christchurch.

Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries over.
Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there before him.

Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that he really needs
the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know what Tim - I'd really
like to give you this job but see these two guys are here before you ..
you're going to have be really something special to get this job you know!"

Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he says, "well boss, there is one thing -
if you take a spark plug and stick it into my arse - I can tell you what
type of spark plug it is."

The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"

So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch spark plug
and shoves it into Tim's arse.

Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!".

The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's really something - but lets test you out
again!"

He takes a NGK spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse.

Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... NGK !!".

The boss, goes .. "Wow, you're really good .. but, one more time - I need
to be sure. "

Boss thinks now, lets catch this guy out! He unzips his pants, takes out
his penis and sticks it into Tim's arse.

Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"
==================================
It seems that Annie was born with a rather unusually large vagina and
therefore has been unable to sustain any sort of long-term relationships
because even the most well endowed men soon lose interest because of her
inability to satisfy them sexually.

So when a guy from the office whom she really liked asked her out, she
decided to take desperate measures. On the way home she stops at the
butcher and buys a kilo of fresh liver. She gets ready for her big date
and slides that kilo of liver into her box, hoping that it will take up
some of the slack, just in case the evening should turn out to be romantic.

Bill picks her up, they go out, dinner, dancing, cocktails, have the BEST
time, and sure enough, end up back at her place, have some great sex and
fall asleep in each other's arms.

Annie wakes up the next morning and Bill is nowhere to be seen. She sighs
and thinks, "Oh well, I gave it my best shot, I guess I'm doomed to end
up an old maid."

She goes downstairs to make coffee and finds a note on the kitchen table...
"Dear Annie, Thank you so much for last night! I had a really GREAT time,
and I think you are WONDERFUL!

Sorry I had to leave so early, but I'll call you later and I hope we can
get together again REAL SOON!
Love You,
Bill
(P.S. Your ****'s in the sink)
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