[Hotfingrs]

THE LAWYERS

During a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. After being sworn in, the elderly, grandmotherly woman was eager to testify. The attorney approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She replied, "Why yes, Mr. Williams; I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me, you lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he hastily pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

Again she replied, "Why yes, I do." I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is the worst in the entire state. Not to mention that he's cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY NEARLY DIED!

The courtroom erupted in a roar. At this point the judge brought the courtroom to silence with his gavel. He called both counselors to the bench. And in a very hushed voice said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
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