[bonyhadi]

How do you spell clitoris?"
I don't know, but I had it on the tip of my tongue just a moment ago.
==================================================
A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency"
appointment. The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the
office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came
into the exam room and asked about her problem.
She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the
gynecologist to please examine her.

So the doctor started to examine her. He held up his head after
completing his examination. "I'm sorry, Miss," he said, "but removing
that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy, delicate and
expensive
surgical procedure."

"I'm not sure I can afford it," sighed the young woman, "but while I am
here, do you think you could replace the batteries?"
=======================================
A little boy sneaks up behind a girl. "BOO!" yells the boy.
"Hey!" exclaims the girl, you scared me half out of my pants!"
The boy responds, "BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!"
===================================
Women are like newspapers because...
- Older ones are not in demand
- They're well worth looking over
- They have a great deal of influence
- You can't believe anything they say
- They always have the last word
- You should really get your own and not steal your neighbor's
===============================
A young boy was in the shower with his grandfather and asked him
if grandma looked like them between her legs.
Grandpa said, "No sonny, when she was young it looked
like a peach with fuzz on it, now it looks like a cow turd that a
wagon wheel has run through."
===============================
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper.

The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed the
driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he
stepped out of the cab. Figuring the driver was putting away his
pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow
something?"

"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.

"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.

"Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed."
===========================================
Craig was out on the three club outing when he took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
Fortunately, he was golfing with a paramedic. He said "How bad is it Brian?
I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."
Brian told him, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four
tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided bandage, and wired it all together. It became a rather impressive work of art. Of
course, the Craig mentions none of this to his Konnie.

They marry and go on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room Konnie rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.
This was the first time he ever saw them.
She said, "You're the first; no one has ever touched these breasts."
Next, she takes off her panties and reveals the golden fruit. She says, "You're the first; no one has ever touched me here."
Barely able to contain himself, he immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
================================
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you dump
your load into it.
===================================
A Jewish family is considering putting their grandfather in a nursing
home. All the Jewish facilities are completely full so they have to
put him in a Catholic home. After a few weeks in the Catholic
facility they come to visit grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says
grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong
place for you."
"Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here,"
grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old.
He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him
'Maestro'!
And there's a physician here -- 90 years old. He
hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls
him 'Doctor'!
And me, I haven't had sex for 30 years and they still
call me the ****ing Jew."
====================================

An old bull was showing his young bovine friend
his pasture one day when they topped out on a hill.
below in the valley were dozens of cows.
"lets run down there and **** one of those cows"
said the young bull.
"son", said the old bull,

"lets walk down there and **** em all"
================================================
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a
helicopter...ten men and one woman. The rope was starting to fray so they
all agreed that one person should let go because if they didn't, the rope
would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the woman gave a really
touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save theirs,
because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and
children, giving in to men, and that after all, men were the superior sex
and must be saved.

When she finished speaking, all the men clapped....

Never underestimate the power of a woman.
==============================================