Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
Where else would they hang the air freshener.
*****
The big difference between Hobos & Homos is that Hobos have no
friends ~ and Homos have friends coming out their ass!
*****
How do you tell if a girl is wearing panty hose?
Her ankles swell when she farts.
============================================
The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it
ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate.
So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads,
. . . and you wonder why the ocean is so salty?
==========================
A man and his wife are in the bedroom one night and
they've just finished having sex.
"Honey, did you enjoy the sex we just had?" he asks.
"Yes, of course, Dear. Didn't you hear me laughing?"
==========================================
How can you tell if your husband's dead?
Sex is the same but you get the remote.
=============
Buggin' You
http://media.smilepop.com/smilepop/f...-bugseren2.swf
==========================================
I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white. I licked it once, twice. I found I couldn't stop.
I licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to scrape my teeth against it.
There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookie ...
===========================================
Two Priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.
One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's
a Nicoderm patch on it. He turns to the other Priest and says,
" I believe you're supposed to put that
patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis."
The other one replies, It's working just fine.
" I'm down to 2 butts a day."
================================================== =
Behind the Wheel ...c Sans MS
The average driver emits more than 912 pints of wind inside a car during
his/her lifetime.
The average driver will have sex in a car six times in their lives.
They will spend around two hours and 14 minutes kissing in their motors.
Mr or Mrs Average will swear or blaspheme 32,025 times behind the wheel.
Motorists each munch through about 21 lbs of chocolate as they trundle along.
They will also nod off at the wheel 11 times and jump 181 red lights.
The average driver will also honk the horn 15,250 times in a lifetime
and be locked out of the car nine times.
Mr or Ms average driver believes their driving is better than 87%
of other drivers and they pay attention to only 35% of road signs.
In a lifetime of journeys the average woman driver will throw two-thirds of her
body weight
out of the window as rubbish or other matter, while men will throw their entire
body weight out.
========================