[bonyhadi]

Pickup Line Of The Day
Mind if I breastfeed?
====================
Signs On Restroom Walls

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to
have trouble with it.
- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

You're too good for him.
- Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
- Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
- Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
- Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
- Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY
====================================
Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking:

Sadie: "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you
went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him
before I give him my answer."

Yetta: "Vell... I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual
like a clock. An like such a mench he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful
lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then
he takes me downstairs, and what's there but such a beautiful car... a
limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for a
dinner... Marvelous dinner. Lobster even. Den ve go see a show....let
me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure!
So then we are coming back to my apartment, and into an ANIMAL he turns.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way
with me two times!"

Sadie: "Oy! Vey... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Yetta: "No... I'm just saying that if you go, wear an old dress.
======================================
Time To Retire From The Superhero Business


9. Your motion to install wheelchair ramps in the secret headquarters
keeps getting shot down.
8. You just installed a warning alarm in the Batmobile to alert you when
you've been driving for more than a mile with the turn signal on.
7. No matter how much you adjust it, your Spandex costume won't hide the
fact that you're wearing Depends.
6. You can only manage one "up and away" and even that requires a few
Viagra.
5. Your current source of angst is the way your sidekick's grandchildren
are wrecking your lawn with their scooters.
4. In a 10-1 vote, the rest of the JLA has asked that you replace your
bustierre and short shorts with something a little less revealing.
3. Rasping "I'm your worst nightmare, punk!" is WAY scarier when your
bridge stays in place.
2. Your shrinking powers no longer have any effect on your prostate.
1. Your new arch-enemy? Irregularity.
===========================================

When it rains, however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry,
that is, except for Sophie's.

The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on rainy
days. So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes
on the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it
rains, your laundry is never out?"

"Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at
Saul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to
be a great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging
over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the
wash."

"What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women.

"Honey," says Sophie, "On a day like that, you just don't do the
laundry!"
=============================