[bonyhadi]

Social Security Sex

Two women were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex,"

"Social Security sex?"

"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough
to live on!"





=========================================
Analysis of the creature known as woman as seen through the
eyes of the Chemist.
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x

Symbol : Wo

Accepted Atomic Weight : 120

Physical Properties:
Boils at nothing and freezes at any moment.
Melts when properly treated.
Very bitter if not well used.

Occurrence:
Found wherever man exists.

Chemical Properties:
Possesses great affinity for Gold,Silver, Platinum and Precious Stones.
Violent Reaction when left alone.
Turns Green when placed before a better looking Specimen.

Uses:
Highly Ornamental.
Useful as a Tonic in acceleration of low spirit and equalizer
distribution of wealth.
Probably most effective income-reducing Agent.

Caution:
Highly explosive when in inexperienced hands.
Originality cannot be claimed.
===================================

Most Bizarre Methods of Contraception

Back in 23-70 AD, Roman nobleman Pliny the Elder believed that if you took two small worms from the body of a certain
species of spider and attached them -- wrapped in deer skin, mind you -- to a woman's body before sunrise, she would not
conceive.

It was believed in ancient times that if a woman spat three times into a frog's mouth she would not conceive for a year.

Supposedly, a pebble clasped in the hand during coitus would also stop conception. (a huge sharp rock to hit him over the
head with so he withdraws early would work better)

St. Albert the Great (1193-1280) advised women to eat bees
as an effective contraception procedure. (that's not news - a of women need a little buzz to loosen them up)

Aetios of Amida (fl. 527-565) suggested that a man should
wash his penis in vinegar or brine before having sex and
that a woman should wear a cat's testicle in a tube across
her navel to avoid contraception.
(NO fellatio tonight, Sweetie)
======================================