[bonyhadi]

= = = = = =

A visiting cantor was invited to sing traditional

Jewish songs at a Brooklyn synagogue.

After the services he was bragging that Lloyd's of
London had insured against the loss of his voice for
$750,000 to members of the congregation.

Mrs. Siegel, an older lady, said..."So cantor, what
did you do with the money?"

= = = = = =

Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf
Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a
mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is
the dress on that store dummy over there?"

"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather
snotty salesman.

"Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's
downtown!"

"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the
dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is
100% pure virgin wool."

"Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the lambs do
at night?"

= = = = = =

Harvey and Gaby Gold spent twenty years trying to
suppress their Jewish upbringing and fit in to their
WASPish suburban Connecticut home. But something was
always difficult to overcome ... the grandmother
living in a quiet corner of the house.

One morning at breakfast, Harvey turns to his wife and
says, "Gaby, listen to me. I don't want to sound
cruel, but your mother has been living with us
for twenty years now. Don't you think it's about time
she got a place of her own?"

Gaby, eating her breakfast, dropped her utensils in
shock. "My mother? I thought she was your mother!"