[bonyhadi]

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We will never have great leaders as long as we mistake education for intelligence, ambition for ability, and a winning smile for integrity!
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A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment in West Virginia when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen
drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, surprisingly enough, she readily agreed.

"Say, how old are you anyway?" the reporter asked as the obviously young lass was disrobing.

"Thirteen." she replied with a shy smile.

"Thirteen??? My God girl!!! You get those clothes back on at once and get the hell outta here! Are you crazy?" he thundered.

Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh?".
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Types Of Women You Meet In The Powder Room

Indifferent
Rushes in, raises dress with a "whoop," pulls crotch of panties
aside and squats with great force, rattling windows and causing
breasts to bob up and down. Hums lively tunes and sounds like
a bucket of water being poured from a third story window.

Cautious
Has heard of so many girls contracting VD from toilet seats that
she straddles bowl, leans over to flush, pees on her nylons.

Worried
A week past due. Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on
fingers. Uses toilet paper, examines it hopefully. Peers into toilet
before flushing, sighing deeply. Walks out biting nails after forgetting
to wash hands. Resolves never to go to bed drunk again.

Conceited
Approaches toilet with undulating movements, giving the other girls
high-fives. Raises dress by fingertips. Expression while peeing indicates that such a lovely creature should not be
compelled to attend to such lowly duties. This type farts louder than a firecracker and stinks like a goat.

Sloppy
Skirt drags in toilet while squatting, pees all over front of toilet seat, never uses toilet paper, drags her business all over
seat, forgets to flush and emerges with back of skirt caught in pants.

Timid
Looks under stall door to see if anyone else is in the can, turns on faucet full force, backs up to toilet, squats quickly,
flushes for constant flow of water, coughs, hums, listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard. Ends
up with loud fart, walks out blushing.

Cross-Eyed
Sits on one cheek on the side of the seat and pees all over the floor.
Usually wears rubber boots on her visits to the can, and carries a box
of Kleenex in her purse.

Frivolous
Lets stream go in little squirts to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

Literary
Always takes book of the month to the can with her. Blames
"Forever Amber" for her piles.

Big Time
Always leaves toilet door open while she chats and brags to the other
girls about the guy she "had" last night. Shows girls her panties with
black lace edging and "Welcome" embroidered in the crotch. Has
never been to bed with a man.

Drunk
Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts, manages to raise dress.
Squats on toilet with shrieks of laughter, pees for awhile singing happy
little songs. Suddenly starts sobbing uncontrollably as she realizes that
she forgot to pull her panties down. Sighs, continues to pee and sob.
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In Need Of Assistance

"Is there a woman here in need of assistance ?" asked the
medic from the ambulance as he knocked on the door.

"Yes." replied the man opening the door. "It's my wife.
She has an electric vibrator lodged in her."

"Well, we'll have to transport her to the hospital." the medic
replied. "Those things can be tricky to remove."

"Never mind." said the husband. "We have an HMO which
doesn't allow Emergency Room visits except for life
threatening incidents. But for now, could you at least turn it
off? It's interfering with the TV."
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Euphemisms For Impotence

1- A few parts shy of an erector set
2- Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
3- Disappointing Miss Daisy
4- Ascension Deficit Disorder
5- Bouncing the Check of Love
6- All Doled up with nowhere to go
7- Serving boneless pork
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A man in his 40's goes in for a physical.
The doctor says "I have good news and I have bad news."
The man says, "Give me the bad news first."
Doc says, "There is a problem with your penis, you can only
get a few more erections, and then you won't have any more for
the rest of your life."
The man says, "What in the world is the good news?"
Doc says, "We know the number is exactly 25, so you can plan
your use of them accordingly."

The man leaves and drives around for a couple hours pondering
his situation, and how to confront his wife.
When he gets home he tells her,
"Honey, I have good news, and I have bad news."
She says, "Give me the good news."
He says, "I can only have 25 more erections,
and then I can't have any more, ever."
She says, "We can work around that, we will just make a list
and only use them when it is absolutely necessary to fulfill
our desires, and make the most out of each one,
what in the world is the bad news?"

He says, "I made a list, and you aren't on it.."
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A woman goes into her accountants office and tells him
that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you
some questions."

He gets her name, address, social security number etc.
And then asks "What is your occupation?"

The woman replies "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "NO, no. no, That'll never
work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman "Okay, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that's still too crude, Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman states,
"I'm a chicken farmer"

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have
to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year !"
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