[CobraDan]

Dear Friends,

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did
when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
yell.
Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement"
in January, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for
extra income and for health benefits that we need. She was a trained
medical transcriptionist when we met twenty-eight ears ago and was
fortunate to land a job at a local transcription house.

It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that
she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or
hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows
how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an
hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this
happens.
Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as
young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does get
supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is
now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that
they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does
seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy
used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now
that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes she
says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a
big issue of this. _As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening
I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that,I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This
gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like
shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut
and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to complain a
little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to
notice.
For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to
pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I
continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods
than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take
a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I over look
comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try notto embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her
to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for
herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know
that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily
basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration
is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No
one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get
older.
My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the
effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I
have attained is out of reach for the average man. However, guys, even if you
just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I
will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
P.S. Bob's funeral was on Saturday, June 15th.
Nancy was acquitted Monday, June 17th.





_