[bonyhadi]

"Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery..."

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor we're going to need a mop

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie..

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration
off.

What's this doing here?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool! Now can you make her leg twitch?!
===============================
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.
The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."
=======================================
It is tough being a man...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race, you''re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off
your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self-defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a
pervert.
If you don't, you're a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're
sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! THEY WANT TO !!!!!.
=========================================
"Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery..."

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor we're going to need a mop

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie..

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration
off.

What's this doing here?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool! Now can you make her leg twitch?!
=================================
A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't
appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am
sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," the young woman
laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the
price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "those turkey rolls
are only a few dollars." The girl continued, "No, mother it wasn't the
price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket." The mother
asked, "Airplane ticket? What in the world did you need an airplane
ticket for?"
"Well mom," she said, "when I went to fix it, I looked at the
directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I
flew to Alaska."
=====================
Never argue with a woman when she is tired...or rested.
================================================== ====================
Did you know the average male is 6 inches long, and the average
female is 8 inches deep?
So in New York City alone there is over 2 miles of unused *****!
================================================== ====================
Willie comes home from work, as he walks in the door Ethel grabs him
and says, "Come on, Willie, we're going upstairs!"

Willie replies, "OK. That's one of my favorite things!"

As soon as they get upstairs, Ethel grabs Willie,
throws him down on the bed and jumps aboard.
Willie protests, "Stop, Stop, We can't do it that way anymore!"

Ethel asks, "What do you mean Willie, I like it that way, and so do
you."

Willie replies, "You're sure right on that, in fact that is one of my
favorite things. But if we do it that way any more I'll lose my job."

Ethel asks, "What do you mean Willie? That doesn't make any sense!"

Willie explains, "The boss called me in the office today and told me,
'Willie, You screw up one more time, and you're fired!'"
========================