[Edley Rondinone]

1. Big old Bob was sitting at the bar, nursing his JD and Coke, when a bedraggled, old hooker sidles up to the barstool next to him. In a coarse, low voice, she says "For $100, I'll do whatever three words you want me to do." After a few moments, old Bob leaned over to the hooker and whispers in her ear, "Paint my House"!! 2. The blonde had lost her job. She was hurting for money, and since she lived in the countryside, there were not a lot of opportunities to make any cash. So she went to her new neighbor about a mile up the road, and asked him if he had any projects for her to do, so she could earn some cash. He said "Sure, you can paint my porch. The paint and brushes are in the garage". The blonde says "OK". About two hours later, she knocks on the man's door. He answers, and she tells him she is finished, and that it was a COBRA, not a PORSCHE!!