[Excaliber]

The world in Bovine and Kirkham Terms:

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it
to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his.

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The
people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give
it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for
you.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is
expensive and sour.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells
you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of
sabotage, which ultimately blows up the cows.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a
bull, and build a herd of cows.

Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

A POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls, "original" and "real" with the "correct" number of horns. Some guy in a Cowboy hat from Calif. sues you for having to many. Before he can collect, several people are killed while attempting to milk them.