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THE BRICK LAYER
Possibly the funniest story in a long while.

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure.



Dear Sir: I'm writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.


I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were
found to be slightly more than 500 pounds. Rather than carry the bricks
down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley
which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a
slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident
report form, that I weigh 135 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked
off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let
go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which
was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
collarbone, as listed in section three of the accident report form.
Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a
great deal of pain.!

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, began a rapid descent, down the
side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up.

This accounts for the fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to
lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately,
only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I
lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost
my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there
watching the empty barrel beginning its journey back down onto me. This
explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.