[Jamo]

Dateline: Seattle, Wash.

A disgruntled Microsoft employee has taken over the observation deck at the Space Needle, armed with numerous assualt weaponry. Thus far, the only injuries reported were by two downtown employees who reported being struck by automotive engine sparkplugs and small pieces of perfectly cut aluminum sheets. A local news helicopter pilot is also seeking counseling due to trauma received when he witnessed a "full moon" of the "whitest a** I ever saw" when he flew in close to allow videotaping of the person.

Bill Gates, when told of the situation, stated that "I have alot of strange muthaf**kers working for me. And, by the way, PeteK is a fool alot of the time."

A reported phone call to a local radio station by the so-called Space Needle Mooner indicated that he was having problems with a pet snake.

Local snake owners have begun picketing at the base of the Space Needle with signs stating "Snakes Need Love Too" and "Have You Hugged Your Snake Today?"